The Influence of Parents
Parents. It’s too bad our kids don’t come with an instruction book. The good news is we have more influence over our kids than we think. In fact, kids rate parents as their number one influence for not trying drugs. However, more than one in ten parents say they have never spoken to their kids about drugs, double the rate of six years ago, according to a survey conducted by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (PDFA). The survey of 12,000 parents nationwide found that 12 percent said they never talk about drugs with their kids. Only about half of those surveyed said they would be upset if their child tried marijuana.
Parents tend to underestimate youth drug use. About 39 percent of teens have smoked marijuana, for instance, but only 18 percent of parents said they believe their own child has tried pot.1
Even though recent trends in youth drug use have shown a downturn in usage levels, they still remain at high levels. Furthermore, studies have shown that the earlier a person uses drugs, the more likely that person is to develop drug problems later in life.2 Think your child hasn’t tried drugs? The statistics are frightening. According to the 2006 Monitoring the Future study, 20.9% of eighth graders, 36.1% of tenth grades and 48.2% of high school seniors reported using illegal drugs within their lifetime.3
Remember, if you’re not talking to your kids, they’re probably getting answers somewhere else and not necessarily accurate information. Kids who aren’t correctly informed are at a greater risk of experimenting with drugs.
1 Join Together Online (www.jointogether.org)
2 Office of National Drug Control Policy, National Drug Control Strategy, 2003, February 2003
3 National Institute on Drug Abuse and University of Michigan, 2006, Monitoring the Future Study Drug Data Tables, December 2006
Tips For Talking with Your Kids About Drugs
- Start Early
- Initiate Conversations
- Create an Open Environment
- Communicate Your Values
- Discuss your personal beliefs about drug use. Sharing your values and family history around them will create an environment of trust and understanding.
- Listen
- Be Honest
- Be Patient
- Use Everyday Opportunities to Talk
- Talk Frequently
- Confront with facts, not judgments. Do your homework – know the facts so you can talk with authority
- Be a role model
Stay In Touch
There are no guarantees and no one is completely immuned to the possibility of drug abuse. Parents and families can do everything right and their child may still use drugs.
There are, however, certain groups of kids who are more like to use drugs than others. Kids who have friends who use drugs. Those who feel socially isolated or have low esteem. It’s important to know your child’s friends – and their parents. Be involved in your child’s life. Pay attention to how your kids are feeling. Let them know you’re available and willing to listen.
People who develop personal power – being in control of their life, are less likely to experiment with illicit drugs. They have the power to trust themselves to make good decisions and choices. Parents and family are key in developing personal power. Remember, kids need praise and encouragement, not censorship.
Communication – The Key to Prevention
Preschool to Age 7
It’s not too early to begin talking. Make sure to use terms that your child can understand. Keep your tone calm. Be specific about the effects of drugs – how they make a person feel, the risk of overdose, and the other long-term damage they can cause.1 When opportunities arise, take advantage of them. For instance, if you and your child are watching a TV show where drugs are involved, use that opportunity to explain that drugs may be bad for you.
Ages 8 – 12
As your kids begin to grow older, begin conversations with them by asking their opinion about drugs, in a nonjudgmental, open-ended way. Keeping your discussions conversational is non-threatening and you’ll more than likely get a more honest response. Remember, at this age kids are usually still open to talking to their parents about sensitive subjects.
Ages 13 – 17
Middle School – grades 6 – 8 – is a critical time in a child’s development. There is more peer pressure. Kids are exposed to more mature situations. With the onset on puberty, they’re also going through major physical and hormonal changes.
With these new changes, kids change. Mood swings are common. Peer acceptance becomes more important. Kids are developing their own identity and parents may feel them pulling away. In fact, you may discover that your children are embarrassed by you sometimes. It’s a difficult age for both the parent and the child.
The chances that your child will experiment with some form of drugs, alcohol or tobacco increase significantly. One particular drug to watch out for is inhalants. In Allegany County, the use of inhalants is at its highest at the eighth grade level.2 More than 1 in 5 children in the US will abuse inhalants by eighth grade. Most inhalants are ordinary household products, which are inhaled (huffed) to get high.
By the time they reach high school, even more of their peers have experimented with illicit drugs and alcohol. By the time they reach their senior year, 47.6% of Allegany County students have used marijuana in their lifetime. 3 That’s nearly one out of every two seniors. They are also driving – a dangerous, and potentially lethal, combination.
Consider establishing a verbal or written contract on the rules about going out or using the car. Be sure to promise to pick up your at any time without asking questions if they call you when the person responsible for driving has been drinking or using drugs.4
1 www.kidshealth.org, Talking to Your Child About Drugs
2 2002 Maryland Adolescent Survey (MAS), Maryland State Department of Education (MSDE)
3 2002 Maryland Adolescent Survey (MAS), Maryland State Department of Education (MSDE)
4 www.kidshealth.org, Talking to Your Child About Drugs
Teens and Technology
Digital technology – kids love it, most parents don’t understand it. Computers, televisions, cell phones, gaming devices, iPods, Blackberries – the average teenager is much more savvy than their parents. While digital technology offers many positive things, there are digital dangers. Prescription drugs can be purchased online with nothing more than a credit card. Information on how to get high is only a Google away. Dealers can be sent a text-message. Parents need to understand how their child is using digital technology.
Top Tips for Monitoring Your Teen’s Use of Digital Technologies
- Limit your teen’s time spent online, and put computers in a common area of the house so you can more easily monitor use.
- Be Clear and consistent about what is off limits – including Web sites, chat rooms, games, blogs, or certain music downloads – and how to handle information promoting drugs or sex. Discuss consequences for breaking the rules.
- Enforce the consequences.
- Learn about the digital devices your teen uses. Teen’s cell phones are living diaries of their friends, activities, and whereabouts.
- Visit your teen’s Web site or personal blog. Review your teen’s profile, pictures, video, and music uploads.
- Monitor your teen’s e-mails and Instant Messaging. Know whom your teen is communicating with online.
- Remind your teen that the Internet is public space and anyone, including college admissions offices, potential employers, and even predators, can see what they’re posting online. Talk to your teen about not posting personally identifiable information or regrettable pictures/videos and information.
- Make sure your teen knows that everything “on the web” isn’t necessary legal. Alcohol, tobacco, illicit and prescription drugs are all marketed on the Internet.
- Use technology to help monitor your teen. See for yourself what’ s posted on social networking sites (i.e., MySpace.com) your teen visits by setting up your own account. Use text messaging to check in with your teen after school.
- If you suspect, go the extra mile. Some technologies enable you to track the exact Web pages, blogs and message boards that your teen visits.
- Talk to other parents about how they monitor their teens. Ask what has worked for them and what hasn’t.1
1 www.theantidrug.com/E-monitoring/overview.asp
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